Revisited me in my dreams..

Being stuck with these torturing but wonderful moments is like a drug. It's addicting and brings me at ease, but then I can feel it starting to slowly kill me. These memories will never escape my mind. But then again, I wouldn't ever want them too.

Everyday I hope that maybe, just maybe you still love me, you just won't show it. Or that maybe you'll come back to me. I still hope you're doing okay. Everyday I hope you have a good day even if I'm having a bad day. I want to let you know _____ that you're perfect to me. You're the most sweetest, kind, caring and bright person I've ever met. And don't you ever let anyone tell you other wise.

I still have the only picture of us we took together, the email that you sent me explaining why you asked me to marry you. What happened to that person that would call me every night? What happened to that smile?

I don't see you smile anymore. I miss you terribly. You have no idea how bad I'm aching inside. You have no idea what it's like to hear your name, or hear who you've dated or kissed. You have absolute no idea how much you hurt me. You don't even have the guts to say sorry.

How could you do this to me! I loved you and cared for you! I did everything I could to keep this relationship. I even kept my word and I was honest and you never tried! You always started the fights! ALWAYS! DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOLD ME 'FUCK THIS I DON'T NEED A SCUMBAG LIKE YOU!' YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT HURTS!

I wish I could just stay mad at you! But I can't, because I love you too much. Although, even after you said that to me, I was the one that kept apologizing for an hour because you wouldn't say anything back. You're the only person I can see myself with. You're the only person who has ever made me feel this way, what made you fall out of love with me _____. Why are you still doing this to me...